Create a list and title it, “All the things I feel able doing on my own.” List out your abilities in bullet points.
Assuming that you’re being honest with yourself and not exaggerating your answers, my guess is that you have put together a relatively short list.
Why is that your assumption?
Mostly to do with a thread that each of us can draw upon. A thread that represents our individualized sense of inadequacy. It translates differently for each of us, but we all carry it. I believe that feelings of inadequacy are a byproduct of our mass production economy. We could not function as an economy were it not for our mass habits, mass tastes, mass enthusiasms, and predictable mass behaviours.
That’s a morose point of view on life.
Not really. I believe that one’s inability to see one’s strengths and the value one brings to the arenas in their life is an effect of our mass production economy.
How do you figure?
How else can mass producers sell to you? A lot of products are pitched to solve problems that we didn’t realize we had until we watched a commercial that advised, or more often, shamed us for it (i.e. You don’t have a six pack? Gross. Drink this "diet" tea that taste like garden compost).
What keeps us feeling inadequate?
The same thing that had your parents wallowing in inadequacy and their parents before them. Mass marketing, also known as advertisements, that are essentially strings of backhanded compliments that we wholeheartedly embrace and buy into, while pieces of our confidence and self-worth flake away.
This of course layers into parenting. If we have yet to feel comfortable in our skin as we are, how comfortable are we setting ourselves up to feel as parents? Are you giving yourself kudos for doing the best that you can? Or is perfectionism creeping in and taking away from the beautiful moments that are created and shared within your families?
Let’s all collectively take a deep breath and stop passing down the inadequacy torch. Come as you are and be accepted as such. If you are doing the best that you can, striving, learning and growing, you are doing a lot.
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