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Battling Betrayal - Healing through the Aftermath

Updated: Aug 28, 2022

We are good at surviving.

Taking on obstacles and hurdles, pushing through chaos and disorder.

Our focus is fixed.

We will withstand the giants before us.

The battle with the external, a welcomed distraction from the calamity, within.

The disarray and confusion, we had momentarily dismissed, while waging war with those we had once thought were friends.

Survival incubates us from internal upheaval. We never realize to what extent we are numbed to emotional pain, until we begin the transition into healing. I would much prefer staying in the battle, surviving against the odds, than trying to sort through the aftermath!


Though, the inner call for healing is relentless.

Life signals when it's time to move forward. Telling us to recreate our form from the shards and fragments within us.

We take stock of the internal wreckage, struggling to make sense of events that should have never taken place.

Trying to salvage pieces of who we were, at one point.

In digging deeper, searching harder… we come to the realization that who we once were, no longer exists.

The pieces won’t make form, they are now memories — shadows of the person we left behind, to survive the storm.

Sometimes you suffer costs to survive situations and circumstances that were initially beyond your ability to cope. It’s painful to realize that pieces of you no longer exist, but those pieces aren’t just gone… they’ve adapted. They became who you are now, out of necessity.

So, this sense of loss should be met with gratitude?

We ought to celebrate the sacrifice that the need for self-preservation made on our behalf?

The snap decisions we barely recollect, making?

If only it were that straightforward.

We have survived — for that we are grateful.

Though now, in the midst of healing, what is needed most is permission to grieve.

Grieve that for whatever reason, life did not allow room to preserve the parts of self that were altogether good — though, not strong.

Grieve the loss of those aspects of self that were wholehearted, though not discerning; and the loss of those aspects of self that were naive and free-spirited, though not disciplined.

We often tell ourselves that as we grow and mature, we only lose the parts of ourselves that were maladaptive, or unhealthy. It’s bittersweet to realize that sometimes the parts of ourselves that we lose were aspects of our identities that we cherished, and that we loved…

Choose to honour those parts of self that are gone for what they made of you, at the time.

Come to terms with the reality that sometimes, what no longer serves us, at one point, served us well.

Mourn, to allow yourself room to move forward.

Rest assured in the belief that shedding parts of ourselves serve a purpose; making room for the parts of you that developed in response to what life requires from you.

Stronger, more discerning and more disciplined.

Though the qualifiers will differ for each of us, depending on the circumstances we face — trust that you are better suited for the journey ahead, equipped with the aspects of self that activated to help you survive all of what is now behind you.

Trust the process - trust yourself.

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