For the Love of Connection
The holiday season has always been a personal favourite.
Something about the music, decor, and communal energy is so… infectious.
Sorry - that was a bad joke. I couldn’t help myself. I’ve reached a stage where I seek out opportunities to squeeze in a viral infection joke, here and there. Morbid humour had always been over my head up until 2020, I digress.
COVID-19 has pressed each of us against the limits of our comfort zone, in a variety of different ways, placing a spotlight on the connections, or lack thereof, in our lives. Amplifying the effect that the holiday season has on each of us individually.
What effect are you assuming the holiday season has on me?
The holidays signal an opportunity to reflect and feel gratitude towards the people in our lives. The connections that have supported and sustained us throughout the year.
This year is no different — actually, scratch that. This year is quite different.
Typically, the holidays provide the chance to wave that white flag. Putting aside differences and leaning into connection. A point in time to appreciate the people you have, and disregard the discord and drama that the year might have brought on, either with family or friends.
Thereby placing a spotlight on the highlight of those connections. All things being equal.
Your point being?
This year has put many of the connections we valued, or continue to value in our lives, to the test. For those of us who perpetually emphasize the highlights of our connections, and continually turn a blind eye to the pain points… this year didn’t quite leave bandwidth for that luxury.
If I might draw a silver lining in the cloud that is 2020, it’s that the majority of us have needed to come to terms with the nature of the connections in our lives, and the benefit those connections actually bring to our existence.
For some, the chaos provided a window of opportunity to experience the “why” that may have been forgotten, behind those certain connections that are precious and delightful. While for others, any thinking about existing connections is largely avoided - because certain connections were, or are, simply good enough, or less than.
All to say, good enough was good enough when times were …good, enough.
This year delivered anything but an emblem of ordinary living. Most of us were pushed into some form of survival state, making it clear that settling for good enough, for the love of connection, wasn’t actually good at all. I hope that for many of you, the year provided an opportunity to see that those connections, those you keep for the love of connection, were, or are, not worth the trouble they bring to your peace.
I don’t keep relationships simply for the love of connection… who does that?
This is a judgment-free zone. As human beings, we are all connection addicts. It’s okay to admit.
You can chase it, you can try and buy it - but genuine connections cannot be cheapened by any of the current marketing gimmicks. It is what it is.
For those of you who don’t know, there is something quintessentially irreplaceable about true, genuine, and healthy connections. Once you experience them — anything less loses value and significance.
If you are still searching for those timeless connections - first start by making room to allow them to take root. Meaning taking those connections that barely pass, the ones that are “good enough,” and letting them go.
Make room for what I promise to be worth the wait. All the while, learning to nourish the most important connection you’ll have during the course of your life - the one you have with yourself.
While the faces at the holiday party, whether you are attending masked or remotely, might be different, or maybe just fewer faces, let them all be faces of people that are worth stepping into 2021 with you, and for the love of connection… even if that face is only your own - that’s okay.
In fact, it's an amazing place to start.